Don't Throw Mud - You'll Just Lose Ground. So Zip Your Lip

For some people, one of the hardest things to do is to learn when to talk and when not to. Oftentimes, learning this lesson can be a costly and painful experience, but eventually, it has to be learned. Once learned, the individual will wonder why it wasn’t learned sooner - and thereby could have avoided the pain that accompanied it.

It Can Be Costly to Badmouth Your Employer

An example of this is given by Michael Hyatt at Intentional Leadership, in which he spoke about a recent situation with Gen. Stanley McChrystal. General McChrystal had publicly spoken negatively about his boss – President Obama – in several interviews with the Rolling Stone magazine. Not long after, the general was called back from heading up the US forces in Afghanistan – the very position President Obama had recently appointed him to – and was promptly fired. All of this, of course, was splashed all over the media for months, and is now permanently recorded on the internet to follow the general for the rest of his career. As you grow your career, this is a very valuable lesson to learn, as early on as possible. Because other people have such easy access to the Internet, anything you say – publicly or privately – can easily and instantly be posted online. It can even get you fired – before you’ve even realized what happened – or why, or how.

Although Easy to Complain. It May Cost for a Long Time to Come

With the internet came the realization that any person can have a voice or a platform - one that most never had before. Now anyone can utter all kinds of blather for the entire world to read or hear online. They can also do it with a degree of anonymity - openly and with great ease - whether true or not, substantiated as fact, or thrown out there as "It’s truth because I say it is." So be careful who you share your thoughts with - as you may be surprised how you get quoted. Accurately or not may not matter, since the damage is already done. Not long after people learned they could go online with their rants and daily reporting of all that happened in their world, bosses naturally began to check up on what employees were saying about the company and about themselves. Today, it is not unusual for existing or future bosses to check Facebook or the blog postings of their employees and potential hires. Bosses and HR departments are checking everything including performing Google searches with your name, texting messages, company emails, and comments made on Twitter, LinkedIn, and other online social media sources. There’s even corporate software that automates the process of looking for any negative information on a company. The software looks for the use of the company name or its leaders’ names wherever they’re being written about on the Internet.

You Never Know Who Will Hear You or Read Your Words

Sometimes, you may be talking to someone that is a total stranger and inadvertently say something off the cuff about your boss or other employee. Be extremely careful – because you never really know who they are – or whom they know – or who’s listening. It is possible that this stranger may even be the boss’s friend, cousin, or sister, etc. At any rate, word may get back to them through some unexpected channel – and you will not be able to undo what has been said through a slip of the tongue. I learned this lesson personally at a very early point in my career. I was at a health club swimming in the pool and a friend asked where I worked and whom I worked for. Fortunately I told him the company and my boss’s name in a positive light and why I liked both. That afternoon I was walking past my boss’s office and he calls me in and says, "So I hear you were yapping about me at the health club today. That old guy sitting on the bench a few feet in front of you was my dad. He says you seem like a real good guy." Wow – was I freaked – and happy, too, that I wasn’t complaining.

Your Words Will Affect How Others Think of You

Bruce Weinstein at BusinessWeek said that: "Personal attacks make you look petty and weak, and this could be a very real reason for you to be passed over for a position. Also bear in mind that professional circles can be small and tightly knit; it’s entirely possible your interviewer knows your previous boss or colleagues. You don’t want to acquire a reputation for being petty, vindictive, or tactless." My grandmother was often heard saying "If you can’t say something nice – you’re better off not saying anything at all." And "If you throw mud – you’re just losing ground." Sound advice from a 99-year-old woman. Tight Lips Will Keep Your Ship Afloat Years ago in the Navy, and it is still taught today, that "Loose lips sink ships." They can also sink interviews, jobs, and careers, too. When going on a job interview, it is a very good policy to simply zip your lip about your boss and about other employees. You may even be encouraged, or flat out asked to tell something about your boss’s management style or what you liked and disliked. This is a sure warning sign that you better zip your lip and not reveal any open or hidden complaints you have about your current or past boss. Besides, HR managers are taught that if you say something negative about your boss, then it’s highly likely you’ll say something negative about a new boss, too. Critical people tend to continue to be critical, and negative people are easily eliminated during interviews. So, you’re better off saying something nice and leaving it at that. With practice, and by looking harder, you can learn to find something nice to say about almost anyone.

Also keep in mind that every story has more than one side, and that most people believe this. Apart from hearing yours, a hiring manager is bound to wonder what the other half of the story might be. Or, they’ll wonder if it is ever possible to please you? It is considered good business practice to never complain – even if asked to do so. When a complaint is necessary, always make it just to those who can do something about it, and only after you have carefully considered whether it’s worth it to complain or not. Usually it’s better to try to find solutions than to make complaints. At least try to offer solutions before you file your complaint.

Take Advantage of Interview Opportunities to Promote Yourself

A much better idea (instead of lodging complaints) is to take the interview opportunity and turn it to your advantage. You can do this by talking about what your career objectives really are and what you have to bring to the table and/or to offer the company that is doing the interviewing. You might say something about the fact that you want a greater challenge for your talents than what the last company offered; or, that you are looking for greater responsibilities; or, my previous employer laid off a number of employees after restructuring the company, etc. Another way to answer the question – Why did you leave your last job? – is to focus on what you have learned from the experience at the last company. Be sure to make it positive and end with a talent that you are sure the company that is interviewing you would want. There is always the remote possibility that people outside of the company may actually know that your boss really is a jerk. In this case, if you badmouth that boss, the interviewer may know that you are telling the truth, but it will still make you look bad. By being diplomatic and not mentioning it at all, it will immediately boost your credibility and integrity – something that is highly desired in employees these days. Badmouthing a previous boss is a sure-fire way to burn your bridges, too. Remember that it will probably be that boss that you will need some form of a future reference from - and it is unlikely that you can expect something good if you were caught complaining - especially if you did it in writing on the Internet. I’ve found that time can heal most all wounds caused by verbal disagreements. But, if you’ve been caught complaining – or worse – slandering a person or company in writing, those wounds run deep and, thanks to the internet, can follow you forever. In the worst case scenario, you get fired and/or sued because of your big mouth, and it is unlikely that you will easily get a new job. Things like lawsuits are easy to find online and any company doing basic background checks will find them. So now you know; you’ve been warned and you’ve been schooled… It’s simply a very bad career move to criticize a boss, other employees, or a company for that matter. Doing so online is apt to get you fired – possibly even the next day – with no warning. Don’t forget, too, that what goes online tends to stay online – floating out there in cyberspace – for a very long time. Potential future employers will find and see what you’ve said about others and it’s likely to cost you a job you really want now or in the future.